“You teach people how to treat you.”
Although this is very true it’s also very difficult to remember sometimes. Especially during times when people are pushing our boundaries and we are questioning ourselves and overanalyzing.
It might be your boss or your romantic partner or a parent or your child. Whoever it is that is asking even more of you… it can trigger the Second Guessing Syndrome. Oh, you know what the second guessing syndrome sounds like…
“Am I being too rigid?”
“Maybe I wasn’t clear when I told her/they/him what I needed”
“It’s just easier to let it go”
“Am I being selfish?”
It can get real confusing real fast and that can lead to caving under the stress and saying “yes” when it would serve your mental health much better to say “no”. It’s a slippery slope that can lead to feeling resentful and scattered. Self-care often becomes non-existent when we say “yes” to all the things.
It’s normal to struggle at times with setting limits and there may very well be times that it actually serves you to say “yes” to an opportunity even though you have your hands full with other things. The key here is knowing you have the option to let go of things that aren’t serving you any longer to make room for things that will.
Again, these can be murky waters because, “I don’t want to let that person down!”.
That’s why it’s important to have a few folks you can trust to remind you that taking care of yourself by setting limits/boundaries and saying “yes” to yourself is straight up self-love! It’s definitely not always comfortable but it does get easier.
Besides, who says we HAVE to be comfortable all of the time?